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Motto : Think
Favorite Quote : I’m quite sure that
if I actually start listing my *favorite* quotes, it’ll end up
being a hardcover leather bound, gold-leaf book that is as fat
as encyclopedia Britannica. Anyway, here’re some:
“The difference between success and failure is pure
desire”- commercial for a toilet seat
“I don’t suffer from insanity… I enjoy it”- Bruce
Villanch
An Unforgettable Incident : It was
a perfect plan, and one that had been contemplated many times
before. The timing and the location couldn’t have been more
perfect. It was a moonless night, and everyone had already
retired. Once again, I went through the plan and checked my
immediate surrounding for anything that could impede the
mission. No sound could be heard except the gentle snores of the
fellow beings and the creaking of the crickets. Just then… I
took out this sheet and began writing about my unforgettable
incident, which took place just a year ago (Class 11). Somebody
locked our class for some unknown reason, and we had to study
outside (in the assembly area) for the day, which was quite an
experience. While some teachers recognized the lameness of
actually teaching something technical outside (Ganga Sir), some
started teaching. The most interesting thing that happened the
whole day was when Labh sir, who “made hay while the sun shone”
and began teaching us Zoology, saw his son coming in his general
direction. Labh sir called him and introduced him as “My
Junior”. Then he noticed that there was some snot in his son’s
nose. So, he put his finger in it and took it out and threw it
in the general direction of the class. This brings a quote by
the amazing Cyrus to memory: ”Those who pick their noses are
dirty, but those who pick others’ noses are gone case.” While we
were having profound thoughts as these, our acting
vice-principal, Hira sir was conducting some serious
investigation, which to my knowledge bore no fruit.
Remembrances : I have
approximately 12,578 incidents I’d love to share, which occurred
in the past 12 years (Please Note: Studies show that 43.7% of
all statistics are made up on the spot), however about half of
them cannot be shared, atleast not through a written medium, so
here goes a “short” list of my remembrances. Just let me go
backwards in time. Class XII: Manohar sir (maths teacher)
calling Ruchin Sachin, and telling him that “ruchin fuchin ke
nam rakheko?” to which Ujjwal replied “ho ta naam rakhe pachi ta
Manohar jasto rakhnu”. His mobile, which was the center of our
attention more than once, his outlandish theory that music built
the pyramids, his palm reading session which lasted 2 periods.
He once picked nose and threw the “bounty” towards Aditya.
Aditya once said “sir hamro jat lai jiskai rakheko cha” when I
called aditya Black body (among other things). Manohar sir also
hated Indian cricket specially that girl who prances around in
their matches supposedly lending “moral support” (something bedi).
Aditya once asked him if he liked Pakistan or India to which
Ujjwal replied “home country manparaucha ni”. Shukla sir (math
teacher) was a fantastic teacher, who had the following
memorable dialogues: “It’s OK?” (asking us whether we understood
the step or not), “Till which number have you done?”, “Rest you
can do” and “No Talking!”. Once, Rigan was copying HW from
guide. Shukla sir saw that, and he placed the guide in a nearby
desk and made him do the sums from Math book. But when he came
back to check Rigan’s progress, he felt something was amiss!
Rigan had taken the guide and replaced with the math book (both
are identical- green in color). Subin sir (Chemistry) once told
us to “uthera basa” and later he explained that it was just like
saying “bato katne”. He had a remarkable wardrobe which
consisted of a white shoe and purple shirt. He also had such
noteworthy dialogues like “2wo” (when asked for spelling of
two), “maile father sita kura gareko chu”, which later changed
to “maile nanda sir sita kura gareko chu”. He also used to tell
us entire lessons without using anything as much as a piece of
paper, and he also used to excessively use “the”. Once Nanda Sir
came in his class, and Subin sir lamented how “This Boy Mohit
Acharya, I’ve never seen him before!” Mona mam (zoology) used to
say “Come on you two guys”, and she always used to comment on
how we (Gourav, Kafle, me and Anup) used to chat and always be
the last to show Lab works. Once Satish was doing his physics
lab in zoology period. Miss saw his calculator and told him
“Satish, you’re using a calculator and the study of frog hardly
requires any calculation”. Babita Miss (Botany) used to give us
notes from her Mount Everest diary, and had very interesting
labs like “using potatometer (which is basically a hollowed out
potato) to calculate osmosis”. She also used to constantly say
“Yeah”, which everyone thought was very cool. Sashi mam
(Chemistry) once launched a long discussion about how my torn
shirt was very un-Xavierian-like, how her brother used to sew
his own clothes even though he was a surgeon in London, and even
told me that “I will sew your shirt, give it to me right now”.
She used to constantly say “Ruchin ta kati dhilo lekhcha”,
“hasne bhae sabaijana hasau”, “timi haru keti bhanda badi
haschau” and “Any questions?” to which Ayush Bhakta would ask
very innovative and bizarre questions. Once she scolded Aditya
and Mohit very badly because they left the class for Parent’s
night thingus without asking her permission (actually, aditya
had gone away, Mohit shouted and called aditya back, but when
aditya didn’t bother, he too went away). Once she stopped
teaching us when we all laughed at a joke (calling Kaustubh
khasi), and she didn’t quite get the joke, and to her utter
dismay, no one dared to explain the joke to her. Manbahadur sir
(Nepali) had a very comprehensive theory on the origin of
Indians and Nepalis (From Asia Minor), and how rakhsas meant
monster in our culture, but actually meant God in some other
culture. He once told Amsul “he’s trying to look innocent”
because amsul had been talking when sir wasn’t looking and was
“very silent” when sir looked at him. He also used to call Amogh
King Cobra. He once told us that Ramesh Bikal still drinks
coffee and goes for morning walk in Basbari. He once also
equated Ties with slavery, and had very standout quotes like “oh
som, raddi huncha hai” and “pitda pitda hat sano bhayo”. He also
wrote illegible cursive Nepali. Once sir was telling some
“jokes” and Satish laughed in a very bizarre way (“Muhahaha,
Muhahaha”), and Sir told him “mattieko boka le bakhri dekhe
pachi tyasari na hascha”. George sir was also quite strict, but
was very good at teaching English. He also had a very
troublesome voice, which he explained, was due to dryness. He
saw me writing this, and told me “I have to be very careful…
because this man is writing down all the mistakes I make… and I
might be remembered only by my mistakes”. He also told Ruchin
“this man is becoming over-smart, (because *somebody* changed
his seat during the exams)”. He once caught Amsul talking during
the class, and launched into a serious discussion about how
“This man is becoming bad… I thought he was a good boy, but he
is becoming a negative influence… he is spoiling the other boys”
I of course, in true spirit of carpe diem, added some more
comments like “yes sir”, and “even other teachers were
complaining”. George Sir’s skills as an invigilator were
legendary, and I remember how boys would get disappointed when
they learned that George sir was coming to “supervise” the
exams. He once caught OC (Rubin) cheating in a unit test, and he
slapped him really hard. Hari sir (Phyics), who is universally
recognized as the best teacher, used to say “agnaist” for
against, and used to tell us “Whaddis” (what is?), and often
“New topics”. He was very very friendly, and got angry only
once: He was asking us when we should have unit tests, so Satish
unknowingly said Friday (but Sir has no class on Friday). So sir
was very angry and he started yelling “malai thaha chaina,
Friday mero class chaina bhanera? Janne huna khojcha…” Satish
was also angry because he had made a mistake and sir was acting
as if he did it on purpose. He used to call Advanced Level
Physics by Nelkon and Parker as “5th Edition”, a habit which
later spread to our other physics teacher, Netra Sir. Speaking
of Netra Sir, I don’t think anyone will forget his unique way of
pronouncing “conductor”, and the way he pronounced “categories”.
There was always a twin paradox (if you want to know more, call
me personally), which used to lighten up the day. Satish used to
“harass” him while he was dictating notes by making him repeat
entire passages for no reason whatsoever. In class XI, we had a
very interesting Zoology teacher: Mr. SN Labh. There are so many
incidents/dialogues that concern him, that I doubt if I’ll be
able to capture even 1% of those fond memories. The way he used
to elongate ‘s’ into ‘sssss’ (e.g. he used to pronounce boys as
boyssssssss…) ….. is almost legendary. He had the unenviable
task of teaching us about frogs, and he made it almost merry. He
told us that “in monsoon (mating season), male frogs sing chorus
and the falling rain on the rocks gives rhythm to impress the
female frogs”. He also gave us very peculiar project works, and
had an even more peculiar way of checking them (cover in colour
/ picture of frog in cover = automatic 25/25 whereas 45 pages of
painstaking research without a cover = 15/25 at best). Once, he
was late for class, and he told us that “We were late… because
Revolution was coming this way (towards Lalitpur from Kathmandu)…
you boys beware.” When, in fact, everything was well and good,
and there was no revolution or anti-regression whatsoever. He
was also very concerned about our performance in the board
exams; so much so that he gave us the syllabus of HSEB every
other day. He used to say that certain questions (almost all)
were “ONE-ZERO-ZERO” percent, and some questions (concerning
frogs) were 120%. Once, all of us (I mean all 40 of us) were in
the back field at 2:00 watching the old building being destroyed
instead of going for zoology class even after the second bell.
Someone then spotted George Sir coming (George sir was the
vice-principal of +2), and some boys, not thinking twice, made a
dash for it, which prompted George sir to say “Some boys are
playing hide and seek with the vice principal.” Labh sir’s lab
works were also very interesting; we had to do something like
10-20 diagrams every lab class, which probably explains why
Kafle was getting signatures even on the last day (the board
practical exams day), and why Brijesh had pictures of squirrel
in his lab file. His signatures were also intermittent, and I
had at least 15 different specimens in my lab work. He also had
incredible stamina, and would check about 20-30 diagrams of each
boy every lab period. Once Labhh sir was asking why fishes move
towards their mating grounds, to which rigan replied “Ohm’s
law”. Labh sir then explained with remarkable accuracy, the
statement and mathematical expression of Ohm’s law. KP Sir
(Botany) was a vocal opponent of the HSEB syllabus because
according to him, the course was unscientific. He was also an
ardent believer of the book “Biological Science” (A-Levels),
which he fondly referred to as “Biological Shcience” or the book
by “Shoper (editor of the book, R. Soper) and others”. He wanted
us all to buy the book, but some boys, specially Pradhumna were
almost militant about not buying it; they had a bitter argument,
which I believe KP sir won by saying that “… at the cost of
knowledge”. His pronunciation of “s” as “sh” is also renowned.
He used to say things like “Shome boys”, “be shilent”, “that’s
not shinetific”. He was anti Sarita Agrawal (an Indian author of
Biology books), and was very pro-“Nature” (Scientific journal).
He was very talented and would explain concepts like Cloning and
Genetic Modification such very lucidly. He was a prominent
atheist and had a very convincing argument: if spirits live for
ever, where are the new spirits coming from because if they are
immortal, there is no need for them to reproduce. Ganga Sir
(Chemistry) was a very gifted pedagogue, who also had his share
of quirks. For some as yet unknown reason, he used to explain
every concept (like ionic/covalent/coordinate covalent bonding),
with an example involving “suppose two people open a business…”
He also told us that “Rutherford gyani thiyo, Bohr chai chor
thiyo.” “Bohr chai eta pani uta pani”. He also gave the now
legendary example to explain the concept of orbital (that they
represent the probability where the electron will be). He told
us “aba Sambhu kahile class ma cha, kaile toilet ma cha, kaile
library ma cha, kaile toilet ma cha, kaile back field ma cha,
kaile toilet ma cha, kaile canteen ma cha, kaile toilet ma cha…
(pause) aba u sab bhanda badi ka cha la bhana ta? (pause), class
room ma! (how?) tyasaile usko orbital chai class room ma huncha.”
When that example failed to eludicate, he told us that orbital
is obtained by taking “lakhau karodau photo and superimposing
(with a really memorable action) it.” Once, he was teaching
IUPAC nomenclature of organic compounds. Sashank raised his hand
and asked him why the naming was done in the way sir had done
it. Sir had not understood sashank’s question and was asking him
“what?”, “ke?” , but Sashank figured out the answer, and told
sir “Sir, bhayo bhayo!”. Then Ganga sir got very angry, threw
the duster on the floor and shouted “ke bhancha yo?” . He cooled
down soon after and told us that “ma risauna rishaudina, tara
rishae bhane chai naramro hune gari risauchu.” Once somebody (I
don’t remember whom) told him that he had not understood a topic
and Ganga sir replied “Ma maru ta? Maru?” He also told us the
pitiful situation of TU campus, whereby “students” (I use the
term loosely here) would occupy the dorm rooms even after
“completing their study” (whatever that meant). He had more than
one memorable incident in the lab. He used to always shout
“Asutosh Kafle!!!” because Kafle would inevitable make a mistake
in the Lab (Update: He still makes mistakes) copy. He also used
to tell us “bihe garne bela bhai sakyo, seal (seal apparatus to
make it airtight using wax) garna audaina”. He was once showing
us how to do clean the platinum wire for flame test and he
hollered “miss arko acid chaina? Acid nai impure bhai sakyo!!!!”
During the preparation of H2S gas in lab, the Kipp’s apparatus
(a crazy “wine-maker” device used to produce H2S gas) was
misbehaving and not producing any H2S gas. So he added about
four-five beaker full of acid (one beaker contains at least 500
ml). Since that was doing no good, he tried to remove it using
the Pipette!!! Then it struck him that by the time he takes out
all the acid using that miniscule pipette, a new species of
human beings will be dominating the world, so he tried to pour
it out and then a mishap happened: he inadvertently poured some
into his shoe. With no reaction whatsoever, he turned to miss
and asked her in a deadpan tone: “Miss, acid jutta ma paryo, kei
ta hunna” to which Miss replied “Sir ko steel toe Doc martin lai
ta yasto dilute acid le chunai sakdaina”. Pushkal Sir (physics)
was very innovative with his “threats” and “reminders”. He used
to tell us things like “we are studying sound, but you don’t
have to make any”, “you are giving the magnitude, I’ll show you
the direction (towards the door)” while studying vector, and “My
temperature is rising...” When we were in Class 10 and we asked
him any question, he would tell us “we would learn that in
higher level/+2”. That was well and good, but when we asked him
the same questions in +2, he told us “you will learn that in BSc”.
His last minute revisions are also legendary. All the Jesuit
Volunteers that taught us, Misha Sir, Jake Sir, Dan Sir, Miss
Anne, Miss Jayme, Miss Lora, and finally Miss Molly were
superlative and taught me, in their own way that the sky was the
limit. I remember Misha Sir’s Community of scholars, Jake sir’s
very scientific discussions (he was a chemical scientist at
NASA, awesome!!!), Dan Sir’s Roman and Greek history classes,
once I scored 107/100 in his test, Miss Lora, who introduced us
to the wonderful things in life like Monty Python, Miss Anne who
taught me about Henry David Thoreau, the non-conformist, and
women’s + human rights more than anyone else, Miss Jayme whom I
always argued with in the Pop & Env classes. Mahesh Sajnani sir,
taught us health and was also the interact club moderator. The
most vivid memory I have of him was when Sashank asked him first
if there was games tomorrow, to which he answered Yes. Then
Sashank asked him if there was games next cycle, to which
Sajhnani sir, with his famous gesture angrily shouted, “IS THIS
THE TIME TO ASK?” He also gave us many project works, which I
thought were troublesome. Miss Binny Subba who taught us English
in class 7 asked the scouts if they had gone to “Chennai” to
which the reply was “No, we went to Chennai”. Nabin Nakano used
to “harass” her by ringing his alarm at intervals of 2 minutes
and the swinging it to “maximize the sound”. She was a very big
fan of Sachin, and got very angry when one of the boys told her
that Sachin was a poor batsman. She also gained repute for her
“Compare & Contrast” questions, which the boys made fun by
saying “Compare & Contrast Toto the monkey and Mother Teresa”.
SUdhir Khanal sir taught us Nepali allocated 10 minutes of his
class for what he called “hot news”. Murli sir, who taught us
social studies, had many friends, who somehow always did exactly
as in the text. He also taught us scouting and took us to
campings, which were obviously, very fun. Nanda sir taught us
Chemistry in class 10. He was very concerned about our studies,
and after every test, he used to give a statistical analysis
indicating how many boys got above a certain percentage in the
test, how many boys have spoiled the exam (when compared to the
previous exam), and also about how our class compared to the
other section. Once, nanda sir gave me a “Herculean” task of
copying 5 cassettes to CD. Monica miss, who taught us Health &
Bio was feared for her deadly Diary raids. She must’ve signed
about 3 diaries a day. She had a very unique way of saying “Keep
quiet”, “yes yes”, “you’ll be a window scholar today”
(translation: You’ll be studying from outside the class today).
I remember all the fun after school activities which I took part
in like Interact Club, Eco club, Math Club, Chess Club, GK Club,
and so on. All the wonderful things that took place in Interact
Club are etched in my mind. All the wonderful memories of
Godavari like the food, Thursday night “special food”, the
Talent nights, Lama sir’s deadly pinchings, the library that was
stocked with all the hardy boys ever written along with a lot of
war books, the Saturday morning walks, the bath time which we
all loathed, the daily games, the wide territory, the Visiting
Saturdays, the events we had like English & Nepali Elocution,
Parent’s Day, the Science Fair, the craft works, the multi-coloured
buildings, the morning assembly in the hall along with daily
exercises + marching, the swimming pool, which was a source of
immense joy, watching brand new videos every Saturday Night, the
class 6 farewell, the skating contests, the high bars, the carom
boards and tennis courts in Bungalow and Berchamans all the fun
I had with my friends. Of course, I cannot neglect all the
wonderful people I met in the course of these 12 years, people
I’ll never forget, each unique and with their own special
traits; especially the movie watching excursions at Jai Nepal
and the TV show discussion (With Ruchin), Movie discussion (Ambar)
and so on.
Last Words : (Time to get philosophical)
Veni Vidi Vicious! On to the next adventure! – Julius Caesar?
(Obviously not!)
My last word (before Aagghhhh!) is Carpe Diem!!! Leave no stone
unturned. If STX has taught me anything, it is that try anything
atleast once, and while you’re at it, enjoy to the fullest.
This is not the end, it is the beginning (Matrix I, Neo tells
the agent at the dead end of the movie). “Everything that has a
beginning has an end” (Everyone tells Neo in part III). By the
way, If you figure out the Matrix, enlighten me.
“You must make the best use of the time that is given to you.”-
Gandalf from Lord of the Rings (a movie that collectively lasted
9 hours)
I said, hey, goodbye to romance, goodbye to friends, I know that
we’ll meet, we’ll meet in the end!- Ozzy
PS: STX is the best (but you know that)
PPS: That still doesn’t stop me from saying it!
Address : 1495/60 Devkota Sadak, 10-Old
Baneshwor, Kathmandu, KTM Valley, Bagmati Zone, Central
Development Region, Southeast Asia, Asia, Eurasia, Earth, The
Rocky Planets, Within the asteroid belt, Solar System, Milky
Way, Universe, In A Marble? (MIB I) or in a Locker (MIB II)
Phone : I wanted to make a fancy equation
which you’d have to solve to find out the number, but I feel as
if I’ve given you enough trouble. Anyway, here goes: Think of a
number from one to 10. Multiply it by 3 and divide it by e. Now
Square it and take its cube root. Consider the number you get to
be the magnitude of a 3 dimensional vector with directional
cosines to be (x, x2, and x3 ) where x is the log to the base e
of the magnitude of the vector. Find the line integral of the
vector, and now compute the Karl Pearson Correlation Coefficient
of it, with the original number, and the hyperbolic sine of the
original number. If the correlation is positive, then consider a
function to be uv where v is the product of original number and
number of digits that you have (Hint: Thumb is not a digit). Now
integrate this function with respect to v. The area under the
curve will give you my phone number. However, if the Coefficient
is negative, then just dial 4477835 and I’ll tell you where you
went wrong.
E-mail : coldmail@hotmail.com, whatmail@hotmail.com,
wohooo@yahoo.com, whatsthetime@indiatimes.com, whatif@rediff.com,
slowmail@fastmail.com, hmail@gmail.com, nomail@mail.com, why am
i@lycos.com
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